Today, I know something is off. He hasn’t gotten out of bed and waits to be called out for his morning business. He doesn’t come when called. He lays low beneath the creaked window and heaves a sigh of relief or sadness, I would not know until I see his glistening caramel eyes.
I bring him over to the common area and hope to see him wag, shake and stretch like he usually does but only moves about as if doing me a favor. I pull out his band and we head out. He knows the way even better than I do. He goes around smelling the freshly mown grass and hears sounds of the morning. I instantly go back to the time we first went out together, and he followed the footsteps, aimlessly. His small feet and tiny body could only do so much to catch up with me. But he never gave up.
Always apologetic in his behavior for wronging my rules. He knew when he wronged. It was wrong but it was only a mistake. And yet he’d take it to his heart. Put himself in a corner of the house and only sit there until he was embraced. He is not like any other, he doesn’t like being embraced but he loves to give his best smile to everyone. He wants to mingle with the old and the young and be friends with someone that looks like him.
As I look back on time and think of all the days we have spent together, it warms my heart and I can’t control my tears. I cannot think of anything that gives me so much joy and pride. I would not compromise for anyone but him. Only him.
I promised I would do better and I hope he knows that this will be a promise that I intend to keep till the end of time. It’s a vow that I made to myself when I realized that he made me a better version of myself. I changed for him unknowingly, but now I have changed for him too. He deserves nothing but the best and many may come and go, but he is my #1. The prime of my life.
The immense joy that I get when I walk through the door every single day cannot be matched with anything else. I would go an extra mile if he wants to go the extra mile. My first thought to any change involves him. I am the over bearing parent that worries, that wonders and also admonishes when needed. But, this connect is real. I cannot imagine my life now without his loud sighs and flailing paws when he dreams. It’s like he isn’t here but you know he’s just resting in his spot on the couch. He gives me a look with droopy eyes, changes his side and rests his head next to my thigh. Sleep well, Sweet Child O Mine, we’ve got a long way to go and I wont cuddle but I will always coddle.